Hey May

Hello.
i'm finally here...writing. breathing in, and breathing out. hesitating, stopping every five seconds to press the backspace button because i seek to find the right words to represent these jumbled thoughts of mine. it's been a struggle to bring myself to this place. a place that is familiar yet so daunting. a place that i enter on a daily basis- the blogosphere. a place where i've only been a shy bystander, watching and waiting but never participating.

i would say it's one of my pastimes to click to my favorites blogs with excitement oozing from my eyeballs to see what new discoveries await me. i take away so much from these bloggers whether that be as tangible as a new recipe or as intangible as insights are about life. i respect how these women made a choice to let us into their lives, into their thoughts, into their mistakes and their successes. their voices are candid, down-to-earth and inviting. though i've never physically met any of the bloggers i follow, i feel that they are my neighbors. people who i can comfortably run to for a cup of coffee when i'm in need. and i enjoy that sense of community very much.

one of my favorite bloggers shared this quote on her site, "Anytime you're gonna grow, you're gonna lose something. You're losing what you're hanging onto to keep safe. You're losing habits that you're comfortable with, you're losing familiarity." | James Hillman. 

i felt safe as just a reader and follower of blogs. it was a comfortable place to be. but God's been tugging me [this year] to be uncomfortable. in whatever situation i may in, to stretch myself a bit more, to take leaps of faith, to go against my natural instincts, and say yes instead of no. i've always played it safe and done what i've wanted to do. but it's an unhealthy habit where growth is not possible. i'm unconsciously saying that i don't trust God to take care of me. 

and starting this blog is another avenue i know i'm being led to go on. and my hope is that this can become a safe place for me. a place to share the ups and downs in my journey. a place that my thoughts can safely call home. a place where i will be stretched, and grow in ways i never would've imagined. it's exciting that my thoughts can finally call this place its home.